What is with this new phrase Money Mindset? It feels like it is such a trend now, just like Mindset in general. But actually, what about money in general? Wouldn’t you agree that people are placed into one of two camps – either “good with money” or “bad with money?”
I was placed in the “bad” camp from the start and I didn’t have any support to get out of this hole that was created. As I got older and managed to make better choices my relationship with money changed, just like my mindset. This got me thinking about our values.
What we think is important to us in ourselves and in our relationships is created in what is called the imprint years (0-7 years old), hugely influenced by our families, teachers and anyone close to us. It is then those decisions are made (really without us being fully aware of what is going on.) So, by such a young age our fate is sealed. I find this incredibly unfair! Why should we accept that we are “bad” with money, just because that is how it is? A lot of our values and self esteem are built at that time, and this affects our relationship with money hugely. This is where the Money Mindset has come from.
What’s the first word that comes to mind when you think about Money? Power? Status? Happiness? Those that seek money as the road to happiness always end up losing out. Money can’t buy happiness. Don’t get me wrong it helps, but happiness comes from within and thinking being able to buy happiness is a slippery slope to misery. The word Power feels very heavy and dominant to me. Those that seek out Power use money as their weapon of choice and this is incredibly frightening to think about. The word Status makes me think of “Keeping up with the Jones’.” That mentality of, I have to be seen to be doing well and “winning” at life…what a load of absolute Bullshit. If we spent less time worrying about what other people thought or had and focused on ourselves and improving our own mindset and life, then we would be in a far better place
Our relationship with money is a long-term thing, it’s not just for a few months. Money is around you your whole life and if you set off on the right foot with it, then you are laughing. However, if you didn’t quite get the right start then it can be hard to find your way and make things right.
It can be done though.
Mindset is something that is imprinted on you into your subconscious. It’s something that you do as a habit without even thinking about it. You have the ability to change that mindset. Like anything – your career, your love life too. Money fits into that category. It is possible to fix this so you can start living a healthier life.
At a young age my parents demonstrated all the wrong things to me around money, I was shown that material things make you happy, that status was what I wanted. I was never shown how to manage my money – therefore within the first week of arriving at Uni I ran out. I literally had no concept of how to manage my money - I was 17 and very rebellious (which didn’t help!) I remember it so clearly. I was standing at the cash machine on the 4th day of Fresher’s Week and couldn’t get any money out. I called my Dad crying and he didn’t help, he just shouted at me. In the end my brother and sister helped me out. Don’t get me wrong I am not fully blaming them for my irresponsible behaviour, I was never taught about money or how to manage it. Instead, all I remember is furious arguments my parents had around money which finally ended in divorce. In many ways this made me fear it; I was scared of it, so I paid no attention to it.
Now do you see the issue? It’s all about what you were taught, and how this can cause so many issues not just around money. I really did feel very lost, trying to work it out on my own but failing miserably and not understanding why. So, I covered it all up and made it look like I was just the reckless child who didn’t care, whereas in fact I was fumbling around in the dark really trying to find a solution that was there all along, I just couldn’t see it.
Culture today is so obsessed with Keeping Up With The Kardashians, what we look like and how much money we have; people have forgotten about what’s important in life. What do we truly value? For me. It's relationships, family, love and pets. Covid has slowed the world down, and is a good thing, as it is making people redress their lives., forcing us to get to the root of our existence and what is really important. Through working on my own Mindset and helping people with theirs, I have realised one common area: we are always chasing the next big thing, the better thing, the thing that will make us truly happy, the thing that will make us so much money. No-one seems to be able to be happy in the present day. Or happy with what they have. Or grounded. If we were able to combat our quest for more, to stop searching for the next fix then our mindset in general would be far healthier; we wouldn’t have this urge and desire to be “better.”
Being able to make peace with my relationship with money was the best thing I did. I feel in more control of my life, happier that I can budget and discuss my financial situation openly now rather than running away from it.
You can do the same. Here are the 5 key things that really helped me get to grips with my Money Mindset:
You can repair your relationship with money. All it takes is the strength to face your fears and cut through all the Bullshit that is holding you back from taking control of money. If you haven’t already, I really urge you all follow the 5 steps above.
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